Impersonal Marketing Sucks

SEOs have been known for their buy 1 get 1 free scams. Take our “One Click Audit” for instance. That page is designed as a landing page to generate revenue to run the business. It costs the least amount of personal work, and whether or not it develops a new relationship with a client, we are providing a cheap impersonal service that ANYONE could give you. This is why we never claim that the One Click Emergency Audit is the best option for everyone. But the people who need it can buy it. It also helps cover the costs of running servers, domain hosting, SSL certificates and other costs that come with running a website.

Good SEO is vital to an online business. If you are looking to grow your organic traffic and convert visitors into sales, SEO can make or break a business. This is why we never recommend an Emergency SEO Audit for anyone looking for an ongoing relationship. It’s a quick and easy tool to diagnose problems, but by no means is it the same as having a professional SEO dig through your links and intimately look at your website.

Here are some common clues that you’re getting the impersonal run around. You can bank that your name is in a marketing cookie pool, somewhere..

Offering Free or Trial Based Services

Try our new service for $299 sound familiar? Of course it is. That’s about the monthly cost of ahrefs, which is a sophisticated database tool that helps SEOs determine link metric information. Why pay the cost of a tool if all you are going to receive is a hollow report? We can do better than that. When you hire an experienced SEO, you get what you pay for. You should also get better long term value.

When hiring a new agency, consider the following.

Cheap, Impersonal Marketing

Cost: $299

What you get: Someone might run an automated script that audits your website, update some pages, vague recommendations and a silly 10 page automated report.

hammer seo

Real SEO is:

More than an invoice.

An expert researching your case and uncovering broken links, UX issues, actually USING the site that you are trying to optimize.

If we were to itemize the bill, it would look something like this:

Cost: $100-450/month, depending on tools needed + experience, expertise of SEO, project costs

Making sure that script is actioned, following up with developers, writing emails and putting together reports. Building a relationship with a client. Directing content curation, strategy, and proper execution.

If you are thinking about hiring a real SEO, consider the following as complete bullshit:

search marketing impersonal


You know the drill. Some promo saying you will rank on Google for 30 days or less. What the hell does this even mean? This is a huge red flag, and no professional SEO would offer this without also offering a Google penalty.

Massive Search Engine Submissions

This is usually an indicator of shady link building. Besides, these micro market search engines that are aimed for niche topics (real estate directory, travel directory) are usually bullshit and lead to more spam than quality visitors. What is the point of increasing the page views of 1000 bots?

The Promise of X Amount of Backlinks (or Power Links)

These are usually something we like to call PBNs. They are a risky Black Hat technique for link building, when a single PBN administrator controls where the links flow on the network. IF Google catches you using these, you will regret it. When bad links show up too quickly its a strong indicator to Google that something bad is happening. Natural, organic link building is recommended by most SEOs.

The Latest Secret / Proprietary Method

Too often do we hear stories about someone demanding X in order to achieve X. This is a major red flag for us. If a company is not willing to share the techniques they are using, or allow copyright to the meta data for your site, then you know their work is shady. These tactics usually result in an attempt to strip the site of all the work the SEO has done. At Lion Eater whatever work we put into your web page is yours to keep. We are good at Copywriting and we’ll make new copy, we promise.

Avoiding Contact or Questions

Any company that takes your money but fails to follow up is a major red flag for a scam. Running a business isn’t for everyone, and too many companies set up a template for a bunch of wordpress domains hoping the cash will flow in. This is not the best way to develop a business.

overnight seo promises

Flat-Rate and Low Monthly Fees

Effective search engine optimization requires a team of experienced specialists. There are different avenues of SEO, and sometimes having a team with specialization (CRO, for example) allows the technical expertise to overcome challenging issues. Great SEO takes willpower– the patience to explore a website, assess the SEO issues, implement the optimizations and follow up with projects to ensure everything is running smoothly.

Good SEO is time consuming, so don’t go for the lowest rates. Low prices can mean lack of quality, because quality Content Marketing with SEO is not cheap. Consulting can cost hundreds of dollars per hour depending on the project. If the price isn’t adding up, it’s probably not what you want.

A full competitive analysis requires researching the competition, studying industry trends and scoping out social media influencers. Proper research takes time, get a proper proposal and quote and stay away from monthly fees! Low monthly fees is never a good sign, you might be paying for an outsourced fiverr gig or something worse.

Unsolicited SPAM SEO Offering

Every webmaster knows what spam feels like. An ego stroking, painful waste of time. Unsolicited offers can involve scripts and bots to impersonate a human interaction. There is a lot to learn from these tactics, as some can get pretty funny.

Spammers are just using tools to impose their unsolicited offers on the unsuspecting public. Spider scripts crawl and scrape e-mail addresses from across the Internet. They build a database and spit out well crafted e-mails designed to fool and annoy web masters. Once there is a signal of interest, they will cater to the site by asking for services or offering something geared to a particular niche. These scams use aggressive sales tactics such as a flat rate budget before discussing the project, asking for help on a project, offering a service at a discount or providing a service free of charge. These e-mails only drag further down the sales funnel, ultimately costing time.


cheshire cat guarantee

Closing Thoughts

Running an agency is not easy, otherwise everyone would be doing it. It takes time, dedication, and a passion for investigating SEO. The temporary results of ranking spikes can mean impending penalties if bad links are involved. Most SEOs try to stay away from link building, but everyone is doing it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not doing their homework.

A la carte SEO services

If you are picking apart service fees with long menu breakdowns for individual services, it’s probably not a good sign. Typically SEO agencies offer different levels of packages to attract price oriented clients, but you are never hiring an SEO because of a price. You are hiring the expertise of an experienced SEO.

If you’re expected to choose individual components to create your own package, that’s not a good business decision. Greg Gifford, via searchengineland

The Race to Lowest Priced SEO

If an offer sounds too good to be true, it is. As we mentioned, SEO is hard work and takes some serious time to do correctly. You’re better off learning how to do it yourself, rather than paying some “SEO expert” who claims that they can do it for an absurdly low price. You get what you pay for!

Trust us, We are Google Partners.

This is the biggest bullshit in the universe. Have you ever actually called Google? Try to set up an AdWords account, give them your credit card number and then try to cancel. These guys are all about one thing: money.

Try and think of a better way to qualify a company as “different” by listing their partner status. It is better to have a portfolio than hide behind Google certs. Most of this is related to Ad spend anyway, because Google is an Ad company. Any agency can get certified if they spend the right amount of dough.

Besides, they are not the only search engine that people use. It’s SEO, not GBO. Yahoo is a search engine. Bing is a search engine. Twitter is a search engine, and Facebook is a search engine. It is the race for the most ad revenue. If you are the kind of client who spends carelessly, take your Boosted Posts and Google Butt-kissing Optimization somewhere else.

If you want to see some awesome PAGE1 testimonials and you have a sense of SEO humor, click here.

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Keeping It Real #HamOnt since 2015